I had seen some slideshow on the internet about “animals that look like they’re about to drop the indie album of the year,” so I thought that would be a fun way to start off the Orlando road trip: with just KJ, Ivan and myself there was no one to stand back and take a photo, so we had to improvise a group selfie that looked like we we just didn’t give a crap about anything. If we were actually going to drop an indie album, it would be the cover shot.
Long story short, back in late March/early April, KJ says to me, “We’re going to Orlando…you should come!” I asked “Who is ‘we” and when is this trip?” Ivan was the other sure candidate and our friend, Daniel, was planning on making it. As for when…that was to be decided. It was a collaborative effort, but we found a time when 3 of the 4 of us were available (Daniel ended up having to opt out) and we could get the hotel room we needed for free (a perk of knowing the right people). On Sunday, May 21, we set out from Burns Tobacconist in Chattanooga…
The Varsity
KJ and I planned from weeks before to start out the trip by burning some Opus X Angel’s Shares that we had…so we did. I can’t remember if I’ve had an Angel’s Share before, but it was very mild at the beginning…almost too mild to the point where it lost all it’s “Opus-ness.” It did ramp up as it went and ended up being an excellent cigar, but I can’t help thinking they are a little overpriced.
I had heard of The Varsity in downtown Atlanta for years. Since 1928 they have been serving up chili dogs, burgers, fries and other fast food delicacies. They have been featured on Travel Channel and Food Network shows. We stopped at the main location, located near Georgia Tech University. It’s hard to tell you exactly how large this place is…probably the biggest fast food restaurant I’ve ever been in, with multiple levels and tables going on forever. The chili on the dogs was great; the chili dogs were great. Huffington Post rated their fries as one of the 10 best in the country…and that’s why I don’t trust anything HuffPo has to say (on politics or anything else)…because the fries were just average to below average. I tried one of KJ’s onion rings, though, and it was great.
Middle of Nowhere to Jacksonville
We stopped for gas in what I think was literally the middle of nowhere. The gas station was a little creepy, with a younger guy manning the counter of a shop that was only about 1/8 the size of the building. What was in the rest of the building? The hotel adjacent was run down but still operational, like something you’d see in a cheap horror flick. And the antique store across the road was empty and ready to be sold off as an antique itself. We made do and got back on the road…next stop…Florida!
KJ wanted to stop somewhere to pick up some craft beer for the room. I searched for what might be on the way and found a Total Wine in Jacksonville. KJ said, “Well, let’s stop and see if that’s any good.” It was then I realized he had never been to a Total Wine…
So he was a little overwhelmed by the size and selection of what is really a supermarket-sized liquor store. Took him half an hour to peruse all the beers and choose a few things. I picked out some Redemption Bourbon for myself…a full review will come at a later date.
Honestly, Jacksonville would be nice if there weren’t so many people driving around with stupid, ugly Gators stickers on their cars. (Go Vols!)
Orlando
We finally got to Orlando and went to the hotel we thought we were staying at…only to find out we were wrong. Same company…different property. Once we got the right place, we settled in to our strictly non-smoking accommodations and went in search of food.
Rocco’s Tacos was the stop that night. Great street taco fare with a very tasty Mojito (mixing my Latin cultures). The place was crowded late in the evening on a Sunday, which I found odd…welcome to Florida!
The end of our quest was in the same shopping center as Rocco’s…at least on paper…who knew that it was almost half a mile away in walking distance? But we made it to Corona Cigar Company around 10:00 on Sunday evening…and it was packed, too.
Tubthumping
Corona Cigar Company has lots to attract the dedicated cigar smoker. They are a Davidoff Appointed Retailer, so all that White Label stuff you might enjoy. They are a Drew Estate Lounge, so they have some exclusives from them. They have a pre-embargo Cuban cigar collection that features the most expensive cigar I’ve ever seen. And they have a full bar…where we decided to go through the list…
He drinks a whiskey drink (we all had an Old-Fashioned)…
He drinks a vodka drink (KJ had a White Russian)
He drinks a lager drink (KJ drank the Yuengling)
He drinks a cider drink (I was the only one who would do the Angry Orchard)
We decided not to sing songs about the good times or the better times this time around.
Walking back to the car we found someone had left a Lamborghini where we could take pics of it.
And KJ decided he wanted to live dangerously.
And that was all just on Sunday.
Noon on a Monday
I found myself sipping Laphroiag (an excellent Islay Scotch) and smoking a Davidoff Exclusive Series Tampa (also available in Orlando at Corona) at noon on a Monday…which is possibly the best start to a week I’ve seen in quite some time. After we finished up our smokes, we went in search of food.
Orlando’s road system is seriously messed up. It’s almost like an atomic bomb went off…one that only targets roadways, though. Almost every roadway seems to be under construction at the same time, and I’m led to believe it’s been that way for years. And then there are the toll roads. I guess you could get around without hitting them, but it would end up being a pain to go out of your way constantly.
Props to Zaza’s New Cuban Diner…the absolute best Cuban sandwich I’ve ever eaten. They got it all right…the bread, the pickles, the mustard, the pork. It wasn’t too spicy. It wasn’t dry. It was simply perfect. The Cuban coffee was right on, as well, and the tostones were very good.
We followed up that with a stop to our first microbrewery of the trip: Ocean Sun Brewing…literally half a mile away from Zaza’s. I had a flight of four: Conch Cruise Hefeweizen, Dark Helmet Schwarzbier, Big Buchi Nitro, and West Coast Red Ale. I particularly enjoyed the Dark Helmet and West Coast Red.
With all that in us, we decided to rest a little before dinner, which promised to be something special…
Hiding Away at Johnnie’s
Fred Rewey told me about a great restaurant…Johnnie’s Hideaway. They have all you can eat Stone Crab on Mondays for about $60 a head. We went for that, but ended up having something totally different.
We started with reptile and amphibian appetizers. None of us had ever had frog legs, so we got three of those (loved ‘em!) and we got a plate of fried gator tail nuggets, too (not as crispy as I would have liked, but still very good).
I expect Caesar salad to have anchovies in the dressing…it’s just the way it’s done…this one had whole anchovies on top of the salad. Color me skeptical, but it turned out fantastic.
Then this happened: 8 oz. Filet Mignon with garlic mashed potatoes. Holy cow! Yes, it was melt-in-your-mouth good and every bit of my medium rare dinner disappeared in short order.
I had opted for the smaller Filet so I could indulge in dessert. For me that meant the best Keylime Pie I’ve ever had…coconut in the graham cracker crust, just enough tartness balanced with sweetness and overall outstanding.
KJ went with the Creme Brûlée and a show…torched, flamed and scorched tableside.
Then on to Corona Cigar’s downtown Orlando shop to end the evening. When we got back to the room, KJ said he wanted to hit Tampa the next day. Ivan agreed. I said, “Sure, sounds like a great idea!”
Continued in Part 2
